A Matter Of Revenge
by Erica T
Summary: I have returned to the all powerful land of DBZ fics. It's been years since his death at the hand of Mirai no Trunks. Now it's time for Frieza to face his ultimate fate. And Vegeta's revenge is complete. There is a reason that this is a humor fic. I'


All hail my return to DBZ fanfiction! I have come full circle, returning to the series that orginally spawned my fanfiction reading and writing tendency.

This is a story that grew in my mind after seeing a fanart of an absolutely adorable Bra dressed to look like Frieza, and Frieza looking decidedly annoyed that he's stuck with her and her adorableness. I can't remember who drew it, or where I found it and I think it's from somebody else's fanfiction, but the picture was just so cute, and the idea that it inspired was just too funny.

Accuracy wise, some of this stuff I don't know is actually true, like the phone, but it was an amusing plot device. Mostly I just made everything fit the way I wanted it to fit to make it amusing. I wrote this at work (naughty, naughty me) so I didn't really have a way of researching it. Nor do I care. Enjoy.

King Yemma has finally decided Frieza's ultimate fate.

Disclaimer: I own nothing DBZ.

A Matter of Revenge

"Alright, alright, move aside now, move aside. I'm looking for a…Frieza. Has anyone seen a guy called Frieza?" The aide called out to the assembled disgruntled villains that had been sent here after their defeat. Like any normal bad guy, they hated being stuck in the Home for Infinite Losers, but unlike normal bad guys they all knew that they weren't going to any particularly wonderful places when their fates were finally decided.

"I said, I'm looking for a Frieza, his final judgment has been decided upon, and he must be on hand for sentencing. Anyone seen a guy called Frieza!"

"He was over there five minutes ago." A tall purple guy with horns pointed at the blood fountain. The aide nodded at him and went over to the fountain.

"Frieza? I'm looking for a guy called Frieza."

"What do you want, demon?" A scratchy, somewhat oily voice responded to him. The aide jumped slightly at the nearness of the voice, and found a white skinned, semi-reptilian bipedal alien watching him.

"You're Frieza? Sent here by Mirai no Trunks fifteen standard years ago?"

"If that is what that little twerp's name was, then yes."

"If you'll come with me, King Yemma has finally found the time to determine your fate."

"Forgive me for not shouting with glee."

"Of course. This way please."

The aide ignored the shouts and disgruntled murmurings coming from the crowd of trapped

souls, and led the lizard thing out of HFIL and into King Yemma's office.

"King Yemma, sir. You sent for Freiza."

"What? Oh yes, of course. Frieza of Tsiru-sei, you are without a doubt one of the most evil beings that this universe has ever produced. At some point in your despicable life, you have committed all the most heinous crimes in the universe, namely murder and genocide, among others. As it stands, you should be discorporealized and sent to spend eternity as nothing more than a shadow in the fires of hell, as is standard in such cases. However…"

"What do you mean, 'however'?" Frieza was instantly suspicious.

"About five years ago, someone came through here with a suggestion for me. It seems he had quite the grudge against you, and I can't blame him. Even though it was his own son that was responsible for your downfall, he wished to have a hand in your punishment. For his own peace of mind I assume. I'll just give him a call, shall I?"

"Whatever."

King Yemma picked up the phone sitting on his desk and hit a button. There was a slight pause as the thing connected to whoever the heck it connected with to talk to the living universe.

"Yes, hello. I'd like to talk to Vegeta please."

Frieza twitched slightly. That little punk had been Vegeta's son? Great. Just fucking great.

"I know it is long distance. Just do it." King Yemma growled into the phone. "Ah, yes, hello there. I'd like to talk to your daddy please." The giant demon put the receiver down and hit the speaker button, just in time to hear a young girl's voice shriek

"DADDY! TEFALONE!" in the background. Frieza shuddered slightly, the girl's voice was at a decibel that even a human would find excruciating. Then his brain caught up with him. A little girl? How the hell did Vegeta manage to produce a little girl? Frieza's thoughts were interrupted when a familiar gruff voice barked into the telephone.

"What?"

"Hello Vegeta, this is King Yemma from Otherworld."

"Why the fuck are you calling me on the blasted telephone?" He growled.

"Vegeta! Language!" A woman's voice scolded. The girl's voice giggled.

"Well, Vegeta, you made a request of me when you came through here five years ago, I thought you might like to know that it's time."

There was silence for a moment, then Vegeta's voice laughed heartily.

"Excellent. Tell the old lizard that I hope he likes his punishment."

"Vegeta! Vegeta what have you been doing on that worthless planet!" Frieza shouted, unable to stop himself. Vegeta laughed harder.

"Oh, Frieza. You'll see. You'll see."

"Damn you, monkey!"

"I assume, Vegeta, that our original agreement is still acceptable."

"Oh yes. Wait…on second thought. Make it our second, instead of our first. She's much more likely to irk the old bastard."

King Yemma smiled briefly and made a small note in his books. Vegeta's smug voice continued to speak.

"Yes, that is most acceptable. What do you think, woman?" The woman's voice in the background sounded surprised.

"What do I think of what?"

"You recall something I told you about five years ago?"

"What, about Frieza?"

"Yes, about Frieza."

"What about it?"

"Do you not think that using our second as revenge instead of our first would be a much more entertaining thought?"

The woman's voice burst into laughter.

"Oh, I think that's a fantastic idea."

Frieza really did not want to know what they were talking about, but he had a feeling he was going to find out soon enough.

"Very well. Enjoy your life, Vegeta." King Yemma

"Oh, believe me, I intend to."

There was a click, and then static filled the air until King Yemma turned off the speaker phone.

"Frieza of Tsiru-sei, you are hereby sentenced to spending the rest of eternity locked in a room with this." The giant pointed at a spot on the floor, where a small girl appeared. She was dressed in a little white dress, and her blue hair was pulled into a small ponytail on the top of her head. Her eyes were huge, and blue. There were no words to describe how blue they were.

"What?"

"This is a reproduction of Vegeta no Ouji and Bulma Briefs' daughter, Bra. She will remain eternally a child of four, you will be unable to kill her, nor escape her. She will give you no quarter." The girl suddenly seemed to snap to life, bounding over to him.

"Hi! My name is Bra, would you like to be my new friend? I like making new friends, because new friends always have something fun and interesting to say. Have you met my Daddy? My Daddy is so strong…" She continued to babble as Frieza stared at her. Despair flashed briefly through his mind. As a youngster, Vegeta had been an annoying brat, and it appeared that this child's mother must have been a holy terror when she had been a child. She was sickeningly cute. And she had attached herself to one of his hands and wasn't letting go, or shutting up.

He stood there, blinking up at King Yemma, watching the amused look blossom on his face.

"She will drive me insane." Frieza stated.

"I believe that was the point. Now, be off with you. I have other things to do today."

Suddenly, Frieza found himself in a brightly decorated room, filled with things that were fuzzy, cute, and pink. The girl shrieked with delight and pulled some of the mysterious objects over to him.

"There's lots of things to play with, let's play tea party, you can be the guest, and I'll be the host and we'll have lots of fun…."

Frieza put a hand to his face and groaned.

Elsewhere, Vegeta was still laughing to himself.

"What's so funny, Daddy?" The four year old girl asked him, crawling into his lap with a book to be read.

"Nothing important, brat. Just a little matter of revenge."


End file.
